I don't really read Something Awful too much anymore, but I saw this earlier this morning, and it's given me a case of the giggles. It's a performance self-appraisal written by a disgruntled replicator repairman on board the Enterprise from "Star Trek: The Next Generation":
Those assholes only ever call me when something breaks. My chest never beeps and then says "Ensign Dupree, we are under attack, what do you think the replicator can do." I would say "a whole hell of a lot," because holy crap, it's only like the second most incredible technology ever made.
I think my favorite "incident" the repairman describes is the one that induced the giggles:
Turns out Wesley decided he wanted a "giant rubber vagina" (direct quote from Lt. Barclay) and it came out of the replicator a bit more suddenly than Wesley had expected. One end of the thing got wedged in the replicator slot and the other end ballooned out of the replicator and pinned him to the floor of his room. The engineering team had to set their phasers to shame to get him out of that predicament.
There's just something about the visual of Wesley Crusher ordering a "giant rubber vagina" from an Enterprise replicator that tickles the funny bone of my inner nerd... which, quite often, is also my outer nerd.
The rest of the article is giggle-inducing, as well.
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