Monday, November 26, 2007

i hate sports

I decided yesterday that I hate sports. Consider:

The Giants - Well on their way to yet another second-half collapse. To make matters worse, the Eagles have once again sprinkled themselves with pixie dust, and despite their loss to the Patriots last night, will go on a magical late-season run that their fans will lament after it does not end in a victory in Super Bowl XLII. The difference is, they get their magical late-season run, whereas Giants fans get to listen to their team yap about how great it is before seeing them lose the same games they've been losing forever, only worse.

When A.J. Feeley - A.J. Fucking Feeley - plays so much better on the road against one of the best teams in league history than Eli Manning does against a 4-6 team at home that it's not even close, it's time to blow it up and get to that decade-long post-first-overall-pick-bust hangover earlier.

The Mets - Well on their way to an offseason that might be as demoralizing as their September collapse. If they were a movie studio, they'd try to get Brad Pitt and somehow end up with Carrot Top starring in all of their pictures.

The worst thing of all is that they had a moderately good thing going, and they've blown it in that divine way that only the Mets can. What can you say about a team that turns Jose Reyes from joy personified to asshole diva? What can you say about an organization for which palace intrigue is as natural as winning is to the Yankees? What can you say about players who said they were bored while leading a race for a division title that they would eventually lose? (I might remind you the Mets have only won five of those things in their entire sad history). What can you say about a manager who says the "real fans" knew they were trying hard the whole time?

The Knicks - Virtually dead to me. I'm a Knicks widower at this point. It's hard to imagine an organization for which constant losing and lack of passion is dwarfed only by how morally offensive it is to any decent person.

The Rangers - I'm sure they'll blow their nice start and join the rest of my teams. They lost yesterday, and another loss to the Islanders later this week seems like a good start. Stringing me along until an April collapse seems the likeliest possibility, though.

I can handle losing. The Mets losing in the 2006 playoffs didn't hurt that badly until the team made it clear that strike three looking was as good as it was gonna get.

But I'm sick of caring about teams that go beyond losing and make me embarassed to root for them. If they don't care, why should I? Why do I?

I hate sports.