"Your Offer Of Gum Seems Rather Disingenuous"
As I read this column, the words were spoken in my head by the voice of Brad Moore. Take that for what you will.
In any case, it totally makes up for the uber-disappointing "Maverick Hunter's 'Human Beings As Prey' Plan Not As Challenging As Expected". Maybe I love the concept of hunting people for sport a little too much; maybe no satirical news article could possibly live up to my hopes and dreams. I still think the concept represents a vast, untapped vein of humor, just waiting to spill forth.
The best line: "They asked about grand prizes and something they called an 'immunity challenge,'" von Urwitz said. "I had my men slit their throats."